PMDD…The Matchmaker?

By Ms. Menses

PMDD makes everything hard…especially relationships.

My boyfriend and I have been together for only a short period of time, but it is clear that PMDD is going to be a big part of our relationship…

He and I were close friends before we got together, and I recently tried to remember the moment he went from friend to ‘more than friend,’ and I realized it was because of PMDD.

I was having a really rough month, where my medicine was not working and the depression would not go away. One of my friends was trying her best to take care of me because I had skipped class and was in bed crying. She asked me if there was anything, anything at all, that would make it better. And my first thought was him. She got him right away.

When he saw me, he didn’t ask any questions or pass any judgment. He just held me and comforted me. And I was right- it made the pain easier to handle.

After that moment, our relationship was never the same. That moment brought us closer together. Shortly after, he told me he liked me and soon after that we started dating.

Even though I try and break up with him and pick fights with him every month, he is always there. He is patient with me and caring.

Because our relationship started with PMDD, I believe it was built on trust. We know that after all the PMDD struggles, we can truly get through anything the world throws at us. Every difference or issue we have seems minor compared to what we face together every month.

As a headstrong and independent woman, PMDD has forced me to be vulnerable. It has taught me to ask for help and that asking for it is not a sign of weakness, but strength. I can now be more open and honest with my partner because of it.

I have also learned not to take things for granted. Every good day, every good relationship and friendship, every kind gesture means so much more to me now. Every time I doubt the strength of our relationship, he tells me, “We’ll get through this.” And, after all the struggles we’ve been through, that is the most romantic thing anyone could ever say to me.

Yes, PMDD can destroy relationships, but it can also build them. I want to think of it as an asset to my relationships instead of an obstacle. PMDD gave me him…and I will always cherish that.

As a Christian, I believe that God cannot prevent bad things from happening, but he can wring the good out of the most horrible situations. Thus, PMDD gave me the opportunity to build a strong relationship.

My boyfriend is the silver lining to my PMDD cloud. What is your silver lining?

About the Warrior

Ms. Menses is a University student who is passionate about menstruation and women’s rights. She has done a TED Talk about menstruation and is currently working on researching the effects of menstruation on girl’s education. She loves to talk about and teach classes about menstruation. She is planning on getting a Master’s in Public Health with a focus on Women’s Reproductive Health issues. She hopes to help make menstruation something people can talk about openly so that girls do not have to suffer.

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1 Comment

  • Cristina 8 months ago Reply

    I am also fortunate enough to have an understanding and patient partner. I can only imagine what goes through his head during my PMDD weeks, but he continues to remain patient and kind, and helps me to get through it.

    PMDD creates an environment for me to practice mindfulness. To not just go with the emotions but to stop, acknowledge them and know why I’m feeling them, and to create an alternate response. Instead of having to ask myself why I feel a certain way, I know exactly why and can do something about how I react toward and around others.

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