PMDD; my enemy within me

By Rachel Garcia

I feel hot

I feel angry

I feel on edge

I feel sad

I feel mad

I feel depressed

I feel like I am an awful mother and wife

I’m cramping

I’m tired

I’m enraged

I want to throw something across the room

I want to quit everything

My job

My marriage

My friendships

My obligations and commitments…

I want to run away

I love my family

But I want to run away

I need to be somewhere quiet

Somewhere calm

Somewhere where no one needs me.

I need to be able to come back when I feel better

I need my family to know I love them.

I need my family to know that I am not feeling well

I need my family to know it’s not their fault

I need them to be understanding and forgiving

I don’t need to be treated like I am crazy.

I don’t need to be provoked or reminded of my condition.

I don’t drink, but I always say on my PMDD days, I feel like drinking.

I need awareness.